Happy new year to one and all!
Thanks for your visits. :)

Excuse Letter

Dear Mr. Mabuti,

Please excuse my daughter, Cecilia Ganda, for being absent in your class because her sister got sick; her mother cannot attend to her due to the fact that the father went to Manila to call his sister who is a nurse but who was sent to a seminar in Cebu; so the father decided to call his mother but she was on vacation in Antipolo because her granddaughter joined a field trip; finally, the father came home to look for another helper but the helper eloped because her former boyfriend married another.

Thank your very much. Your kind consideration will be highly and deeply solicited.

Sincerely yours,

MRS. TINA MAAN

(Source: Jokes, here, there and everywhere)

"Bread of Life"

The lesson for the day was on the denotative and connotative meanings of words. To arouse the interest of the students, the professor asked them to write their favorite passages or quotations on a one -fourth sheet of paper. After five minutes, the professor collected the pieces of papers. The he read them one by one. On one of the papers, this passage was written:

Front page: WE DO NOT LIVE BY BREAD ALONE
(Please see back page)

Back page: BECAUSE WE NEED SOFT DRINKS TOO!

Signboard in a zoo..

Attention to all our guests:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have food, give
them to the security guards.

The Bathtub Test

(This joke was sent by a friend. Thanks Khater!)

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

'Well,' said the director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor.

'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup..'

'No' said the director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'

(The visitor became the next patient! Waaaa!)

Anonymous Donor

Two newly weds received two tickets for a popular stage play in town for the next day. The donor was anonymous but the couple thought that maybe the tickets were wedding presents from a family member who wanted to surprise them. So without much ado, they left their home the following day to watch the show. All their wedding gifts were still unopened in the living room.

As soon as they arrived home, they saw a large note outside their door saying, NOW YOU KNOW! All their wedding gifts were stolen by their ticket donor --a burglar!

FOUR REASONS

"You promise to take me to the movies today."
"I can't today."
"Why not? Give me just one good reason."
"I have got 4 reasons-no money in pockets."

The Cat and Chick in-love...

Naturally Gifted!

Karate! Hai!!

Poor man's vacation

How much you love me?

Cute hats!

Junk Mail

Geography of Women

This is a forwarded e-mail:


Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.

Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, wise and beautiful !!!!!!!!!

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.

After 70, they become Siberia.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

The Perfect Resume, He he he!

Please click to enlarge! =)

Job Opening!

Hindustan Lever has job vacancies in their deo /perfume Plant.
If you're interested, apply to: hrhl@MNC.com ,

The Package:
1. Proposed salary is Net Rs.75,000/mth,
2. Health benefits
3. 6 hours / day
4. 5 working days / week
5. Transport provided
6. Medical Benefits - Rs.8500/pm

Conditions:
1. You only need to have a very good sense of smell.
2. Willingness to explore with your nose
Scroll down for a demo of the job......... ......

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Technology in year 3000??

Difference Between Guys and Gals! :)

T-shirt!

Waiting for the perfect man..

Advancement of Technology..

Hello, hello, Hallooooooo!!!
I am sorry for I could not meet with you today. I still need to preside in my company's meeting right after my breakfast...delicious banana cake....:) (WOW!)

Puzzle For You!

Here is a puzzle for you....

1.Imagine you are in Africa .

2.You have been tied hanging on a
tree with a rope anchored on the
ground....

3. A candle is slowly burning the rope,
and the lion is waiting for you to drop
and be his lunch.


4.Your survival hinges on the rope staying
intact..

5.There is no one
around to help you.

6. What to do now?

7. Write your answer before your scroll down....

SCROLL DOWN FOR ANSWER...

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SING A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :)

He,he,he,he!

Guys!!!!!

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Revenge!

Hear no Evil! :)

Business signage along the highway....

STRESSED OUT!!!! beauty salon and spa!!!


MAYBE the owners are the ones who need beautifying then !!!!

hihihihihi

The mother and her kids

One day i was listening to the radio and heard this silly joke which went like this:

Mother : Did you know every grain of rice is sewn with the farmers' sweat and blood ?!?!
Kids: EEEEEOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!

Mother: Did you know every fish caught by fishermen came from the hands they dug in the dirt ?!?!
Kids: EEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!

Mother: Did you know you kids were made from your father and i's own flesh ?!?!
Kids:EEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!

Expensive place

When I got home from work last night,
my wife demanded that I take her out
to an expensive place..

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So I took her to a petrol station!



i

Hello guests!Good morning from the Philippines!

Hello!Hello!

Chocolates can make your feet small?

(Foreword: The photo and words on this post are all from FFO yahoo group.This does not aim to make fun of these sexy ladies in the picture below... for in fairness to them,being sexy does not necessarily mean that they need to have small waists or curvaceous bodies, for they too, are beautiful in their own rights.)

A forwarded e-mail:

ATTENTION !!!

Warning About Chocolate

Do you eat chocolate?!

We were raised on chocolate as kids
and even into adulthood.

I will never eat it again. I hope you will
throw yours away whenever you get
given any from now on. It seems as though
nothing is safe to eat anymore.

This is what happens when you eat
chocolate!This is a warning, send this
to everyone you care about.
It could happen to you.......or them.

Chocolate will make your feet small!!

Warn everyone !!

Hehehehehe!