Happy new year to one and all!
Thanks for your visits. :)

Excuse Letter

Dear Mr. Mabuti,

Please excuse my daughter, Cecilia Ganda, for being absent in your class because her sister got sick; her mother cannot attend to her due to the fact that the father went to Manila to call his sister who is a nurse but who was sent to a seminar in Cebu; so the father decided to call his mother but she was on vacation in Antipolo because her granddaughter joined a field trip; finally, the father came home to look for another helper but the helper eloped because her former boyfriend married another.

Thank your very much. Your kind consideration will be highly and deeply solicited.

Sincerely yours,

MRS. TINA MAAN

(Source: Jokes, here, there and everywhere)

"Bread of Life"

The lesson for the day was on the denotative and connotative meanings of words. To arouse the interest of the students, the professor asked them to write their favorite passages or quotations on a one -fourth sheet of paper. After five minutes, the professor collected the pieces of papers. The he read them one by one. On one of the papers, this passage was written:

Front page: WE DO NOT LIVE BY BREAD ALONE
(Please see back page)

Back page: BECAUSE WE NEED SOFT DRINKS TOO!

Signboard in a zoo..

Attention to all our guests:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have food, give
them to the security guards.

The Bathtub Test

(This joke was sent by a friend. Thanks Khater!)

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

'Well,' said the director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor.

'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup..'

'No' said the director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'

(The visitor became the next patient! Waaaa!)

Anonymous Donor

Two newly weds received two tickets for a popular stage play in town for the next day. The donor was anonymous but the couple thought that maybe the tickets were wedding presents from a family member who wanted to surprise them. So without much ado, they left their home the following day to watch the show. All their wedding gifts were still unopened in the living room.

As soon as they arrived home, they saw a large note outside their door saying, NOW YOU KNOW! All their wedding gifts were stolen by their ticket donor --a burglar!